Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Oh, Cheez Whiz, where art Thou?
by Dan Verel, [X]press Online
As most students who are forced to eat on campus on a regular basis know, the options can be limiting, tiring and downright frustrating. How many mediocre bagels and Cesar salads can one stand? So when I found an authentic East Coast treasure being offered at the Gold Coast Grill in the student union, I was smitten with guilty pleasure.
The delectable item at hand: A Philly cheesesteak. Sounds simple enough. Steak, cheese, bread – done. But this was no ordinary cheese steak. Although the amiable line cooks would ask the ludicrous question of whether or not you wanted lettuce and tomato on the meaty and cheesy concoction, (never!) someone had the foresight to honor a Philly tradition that might otherwise be shunned in the food-conscious Bay Area. Not provolone, not cheddar, not American cheese. Cheez Whiz, that hot, yellow, liquid-y Kraft product that comes out of a jar and sort of resembles cheese. While the three just-mentioned cheeses are acceptable, any true East Coaster knows what really makes a cheesesteak legit – yes, it’s Cheez Whiz.
Now before the organic mafia bristles at the notion of a chemical concoction tasting better than any soy product, consider this: you’re a hippie, and few people outside of the Bay Area care.
Like I said, I was tickled when I found this out. I could indulge in one of my favorite, most gluttonous snacks – a cheesesteak with da’ whiz, cooked mushrooms, grilled onions, topped off with an ever-so-slight spread of mayonnaise. Heaven. But in San Francisco, they try to throw mustard, lettuce, tomato, peppers, avocado, salsa, cucumbers, sprouts, patchouli and fairy dust on a cheese steak, and it’s gross.
But then something terrible happened, about two weeks ago. The warmer that turned the typically thick and otherwise inedible Whiz into a hot vat of deliciousness that you could bathe in broke. The first day they told me wasn’t so bad; I had eaten a cheesesteak consecutively for nearly two weeks, so I could handle a day without the artery clogger. I’m pretty sure the guys behind the grill thought I was insane, but what did I care? I had whiz!
The key word now is had. Nearly two weeks after first reporting this kitchen catastrophe to me, no progress has been made to replace the pot of gold that sat next to the grease-caked griddle. That’s where the magic happens. And despite repeated promises of “maybe next week,” no action has been taken. Now, instead of biting into a gooey and delicious mess of whiz, mayo and beef, I’m forced to settle for boring old cheddar. With four slices of the cheddar, it’s kind of close, but not really. One guy, seeing my constant disappointment, offered what sounded to be a decent solution: nacho cheese. About the same, right? Wrong. I tried it in good faith, but it was too soggy, and had that hint of jalapeño flavor that should never be mixed with beef. I wasn’t sure if I was eating at 7-11 or at Pat’s in South Philly.
So, Gold Coast Grill, I have one simple request: Bring back the whiz! I know I’m not alone in this matter.
For more information, visit:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheesesteak
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheez_Whiz
http://www.patskingofsteaks.com/Site/Welcome.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pat%27s_Steaks
As most students who are forced to eat on campus on a regular basis know, the options can be limiting, tiring and downright frustrating. How many mediocre bagels and Cesar salads can one stand? So when I found an authentic East Coast treasure being offered at the Gold Coast Grill in the student union, I was smitten with guilty pleasure.
The delectable item at hand: A Philly cheesesteak. Sounds simple enough. Steak, cheese, bread – done. But this was no ordinary cheese steak. Although the amiable line cooks would ask the ludicrous question of whether or not you wanted lettuce and tomato on the meaty and cheesy concoction, (never!) someone had the foresight to honor a Philly tradition that might otherwise be shunned in the food-conscious Bay Area. Not provolone, not cheddar, not American cheese. Cheez Whiz, that hot, yellow, liquid-y Kraft product that comes out of a jar and sort of resembles cheese. While the three just-mentioned cheeses are acceptable, any true East Coaster knows what really makes a cheesesteak legit – yes, it’s Cheez Whiz.
Now before the organic mafia bristles at the notion of a chemical concoction tasting better than any soy product, consider this: you’re a hippie, and few people outside of the Bay Area care.
Like I said, I was tickled when I found this out. I could indulge in one of my favorite, most gluttonous snacks – a cheesesteak with da’ whiz, cooked mushrooms, grilled onions, topped off with an ever-so-slight spread of mayonnaise. Heaven. But in San Francisco, they try to throw mustard, lettuce, tomato, peppers, avocado, salsa, cucumbers, sprouts, patchouli and fairy dust on a cheese steak, and it’s gross.
But then something terrible happened, about two weeks ago. The warmer that turned the typically thick and otherwise inedible Whiz into a hot vat of deliciousness that you could bathe in broke. The first day they told me wasn’t so bad; I had eaten a cheesesteak consecutively for nearly two weeks, so I could handle a day without the artery clogger. I’m pretty sure the guys behind the grill thought I was insane, but what did I care? I had whiz!
The key word now is had. Nearly two weeks after first reporting this kitchen catastrophe to me, no progress has been made to replace the pot of gold that sat next to the grease-caked griddle. That’s where the magic happens. And despite repeated promises of “maybe next week,” no action has been taken. Now, instead of biting into a gooey and delicious mess of whiz, mayo and beef, I’m forced to settle for boring old cheddar. With four slices of the cheddar, it’s kind of close, but not really. One guy, seeing my constant disappointment, offered what sounded to be a decent solution: nacho cheese. About the same, right? Wrong. I tried it in good faith, but it was too soggy, and had that hint of jalapeño flavor that should never be mixed with beef. I wasn’t sure if I was eating at 7-11 or at Pat’s in South Philly.
So, Gold Coast Grill, I have one simple request: Bring back the whiz! I know I’m not alone in this matter.
For more information, visit:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheesesteak
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheez_Whiz
http://www.patskingofsteaks.com/Site/Welcome.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pat%27s_Steaks
# posted by [X]press Staff @ 9:53 AM 